Sunday, February 22, 2004
Internet Hall of Shame
The need has been evident for some time for a place where those human beings who make us regret the Internet was ever invented are recognized. This is the place. It is called the Internet Hall of Shame.
Not just anybody can become a member of IHOS. Only those people who have made a significant contribution toward making us think the Internet was a really bad idea are given serious consideration for induction.
Nominations for membership in the Internet Hall of Shame are now being accepted.
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Is This the Best Political Parties Can Do?
Right now, looking toward the November elections, Republicans are worried and Democrats are hopeful. But, truth be told, regardless of who win or loses come November, neither of the major political parties has anything exciting to offer the people of the United States.
Neither party has any sort of superordinate goal that could serve to unite the American people. Neither party has a vision of the future that could inspire national action. Neither party has the foggiest notion of what Americans should do from here on out, except to make more money so that they can reduce their credit card debt and pay their monthly bills.
Not much for the American people to go on, is it?
'Heads should roll' over Iraq . . . starting with Richard Perle's
Richard Perle is a guy who makes Kenneth Allen McDuff look like the Good Samaritan and Mother Teresa, all rolled into one.
Richard Perle is a guy who makes Kenneth Allen McDuff look like the Good Samaritan and Mother Teresa, all rolled into one.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Very Disciplined and Well-Behaved Shrubhubby Shocked
"Let's just leave it at that," Mrs. Bush replied.
"Let's just leave it at that," Mrs. Bush replied.
Shrububba Troubled by Hubbuba
Dubya has been married to a woman for 26 years. He says he's troubled by all the gays who are getting married in San Francisco. I've been married to a woman for 42 years. I'm not troubled by all the gays who are getting married in San Francisco.
Why is Dubya saying he's troubled and I'm not? Because Dubya says what he believes other people believe and I say what I believe.
What really troubles Dubya these days is his increasing awareness that what he believes other people believe isn't what he believes, either.
Dubya has been married to a woman for 26 years. He says he's troubled by all the gays who are getting married in San Francisco. I've been married to a woman for 42 years. I'm not troubled by all the gays who are getting married in San Francisco.
Why is Dubya saying he's troubled and I'm not? Because Dubya says what he believes other people believe and I say what I believe.
What really troubles Dubya these days is his increasing awareness that what he believes other people believe isn't what he believes, either.
Monday, February 16, 2004
Texas Souffle'
When Dubya Fudd was working for the Senatorial campaign of Red Blount in Alabama back in 1972, his campaign colleagues nicknamed him "Texas souffle'" because he "looked good on the outside but was full of hot air."
The more things change, the more they remain the same. Except, that today, the Dickweed from Crawford doesn't look good--even on the outside.
When Dubya Fudd was working for the Senatorial campaign of Red Blount in Alabama back in 1972, his campaign colleagues nicknamed him "Texas souffle'" because he "looked good on the outside but was full of hot air."
The more things change, the more they remain the same. Except, that today, the Dickweed from Crawford doesn't look good--even on the outside.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
World's Oldest Insect Fossil Discovered (but Not Dubya's National Guard Service Records)
Insects were on this planet 400 million years ago. This latest discovery pushes the date for the appearance of insects back another 10 to 20 million years. Just like that.
Insects were on this planet 400 million years ago. This latest discovery pushes the date for the appearance of insects back another 10 to 20 million years. Just like that.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Grafs for the Victims of ADHD
David Stout, writing for the New York Times, is obviously catering to those readers suffering from ADHD, because his longest graf is three sentences long.
Did I say "graf?" Back in pre-ADHD days, we could say "paragraph" and still be understood.
David Stout, writing for the New York Times, is obviously catering to those readers suffering from ADHD, because his longest graf is three sentences long.
Did I say "graf?" Back in pre-ADHD days, we could say "paragraph" and still be understood.
Dr. Robert Atkins, the Fad Diet Equivalent of President George W. Bush
Andy Warhol predicted that "in the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." What he didn't predict that this fame would be based on the Hypostasis of the Fake. Hence, we live in the age of the famous Low-Carb Diet and the equally-famous No-Brain President.
Andy Warhol predicted that "in the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." What he didn't predict that this fame would be based on the Hypostasis of the Fake. Hence, we live in the age of the famous Low-Carb Diet and the equally-famous No-Brain President.
Skids Greased for Eminence Grise?
Remember when Vice President Cheney was regarded as the Gray Eminence of the Bush Administration? Dana Milbank itemizes the "unwanted moments" that add up to intraparty talk of a "Dump Cheney in 2004" movement.
Remember when Vice President Cheney was regarded as the Gray Eminence of the Bush Administration? Dana Milbank itemizes the "unwanted moments" that add up to intraparty talk of a "Dump Cheney in 2004" movement.
Monday, February 09, 2004
White House Prediction of 2.6 Million New U.S. Jobs in 2004 Doesn't Include George W. Bush's Job
But even if it had, it would be worth the same as the White House's other predictions in recent years, i. e., nothing.
But even if it had, it would be worth the same as the White House's other predictions in recent years, i. e., nothing.
Monday, February 02, 2004
Twit Deplores Tit
"The head of the Federal Communications Commission on Monday called the baring of Janet Jackson's breast during the Super Bowl halftime show "deplorable" and said his agency will investigate." And who is the head of the FCC? Michael Powell, son of Colin Powell, Dubya's Secretary of State.
All is not well in the House of Powell.
"The head of the Federal Communications Commission on Monday called the baring of Janet Jackson's breast during the Super Bowl halftime show "deplorable" and said his agency will investigate." And who is the head of the FCC? Michael Powell, son of Colin Powell, Dubya's Secretary of State.
All is not well in the House of Powell.
George W. Bush Is Incredible
When Robert Novak says that George W. Bush has a "credibility problem," you know that Republicans are sweating. And with Dubya's call for an investigation into "intelligence" lapses, you know that he also has a "credulity problem."
When Robert Novak says that George W. Bush has a "credibility problem," you know that Republicans are sweating. And with Dubya's call for an investigation into "intelligence" lapses, you know that he also has a "credulity problem."
